Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Mothers Not Found in the Media- (the author/mother was silenced)

Looks like she's still silenced. The page is gone and her blog is empty. (but we have the article) Hang in there Julie- they CAN’T Silence us all!

The Mothers Not Found in the Media



Mrs. Tiger Woods, Mrs. Aaron Spelling, Ms. Britney Spears, even our first lady, Mrs. Obama ....all mothers that you can read about on an almost weekly basis. The media loves to cover them and to expose them. Whether they like it or not.

The media does not cover the women who have lost custody battles to perpetrators of domestic violence. Their abusers are almost never exposed. The children in these cases are damaged, their lives stained forever. Over and over again, these children are torn from the arms of a loving parent-their mothers.

When will you read of Debbie, Rachel, Susan, Maria, and hundreds of others who have lost their children in a court system that enables such injustice? Probably never. And the silence is breaking them.

In our judicial system of today, powerful men, dominating men, are able to use the court system as a weapon. Tragically, they are able to use their children as ammunition. The media doesn't know the women that have fallen victims to our courts. We should read about the personal enfolding of celebrity moms, professional athletes' spouses, and other characters that are deemed of high interest to the public. Or so they say. When do we read of the other mothers?

No one wants to report on the woman whose husband repeatedly raped his 5 year old daughter. That man was then given sole custody of the young girl, as the woman could not fight the court battle laid out before her. Who would want to read of the woman whose husband broke every bone in her face, over a period of years? He was then given custody of the children who witnessed this horror.

In another case, a forensic psychologist stated that he was of the professional opinion that two boys had observed their father being psychologically and physically abusive towards their mother. Documentation regarding physical abuse of the mother was evidenced. Then the judge deciding this particular custody dispute awarded sole custody of the two boys to the father.

When this woman sought safety prior to the divorce dispute, her husband warned her that she would never see her children again. After custody was "awarded" to this male perpetrator, the mother never had a relationship with her sons again. A judge looked her in the eye and told her that just because her husband had raped and beaten her, it did not mean he couldn't be a good father.

Not understanding any of the court's instructions, she contacted newspapers, radio stations, and magazines. In our wonderful United States of America, there was not a single reporter that would come to her aid. No one wanted to speak of her story, her life....It was her own, never to be shared.

Until now.

It happened to me.

In our country that promises protection and justice, judges are awarding custody to men with violent histories. Women that have made their children a priority, are left childless. Many times, these women turn to the media for assistance...only to be turned away.

These are the mothers not found in the media. Reporters refuse to reply to coverage requests, as judges are never held accountable for their poor and damaging decisions. If these cases are told to the public, how are they remedied? Perhaps this is why reporters run from such stories. Rather than ignore such tragedies, it seems that finding an answer would be a much better conclusion.

In order for there to be a solution to many of these horror stories, the stories themselves must be told. Bullied and emotionally battered by judicial figureheads, the mothers not mentioned in the media must be heard. They need a voice. We need a voice.

If you are reading these words, that proves there is hope. It says things can get a little bit better. This is all being told from a mother who lost her children in a court of law to the abuser; from a mother not found in the media.

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1 comment:

Fiona said...

Contact is prioritised over safety. Silenced Women. Silenced children. New Zealand Family Court uses PAS Parental Alienation Syndrome to eradicate mothers. A court appointed psychologist with a brief to report that mother's are emotionally unsafe and alienating when child abuse is reported. A counsellor is brought in to erase the memory of the mother. The mother has no communication with the abused children that she tried to protect. Family Court Judges are pronouncing sane mothers as mentally ill.